Look, I watch American Idol, ok? Before you start the razzing, realize that when you have a wife and daughter, you will be forced to watch every single episode as well. So as long as I am watching, I thought I'd provide a recap for those of you who were too busy watching the Suns destroy the Lakers.
They started the show with the theme "American Idol Gives Back," which means for the first fifty million votes they receive, News Corp will donate ten cents per call, or five million dollars. Very cool move.
In addition to the donation, we get to see footage of Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest roam through poverty stricken African villages. While Ryan seems very affected by the conditions and actually gets quite involved (I gained some real respect for Seacrest), a shocked Simon lays still in disbelief and resorts to what he knows best, judging the conditions the same way he judges contestants ("Absolutely horrible, this will not do. I'm afraid this is it for you.") It was pretty disturbing.
As part of the "AI Gives Back" theme, the contestants will be singing songs of inspiration. Lucky for us, Chris gets to start things off.
Chris- Continuing with his theme of taking songs we all like and destroying them, Chris decides to sing Eric Clapton's "Change the World." Sticking to his self-endorsed musical style of "nasally," Chris wanders around the stage screeching and smiling, pretending to be Justin Timberlake. Let me ask this question: If you could watch a video of Jessica Alba dancing or watch a video of a chick who kind of looks like Alba, only with a beer gut, hairy armpits, a wig, and is actually a dude, which would you choose?
Other than the freaks out there, we'd all choose Alba. It's the same with Chris and Timberlake. Chris only appeals to Timberlake fans, and even they would rather listen to Timberlake.
Melinda- Ho Hum. Melinda is a great singer. Melinda is humble. Melinda is a sweetie. The problem is, every time I cross a bridge, I worry that Melinda will jump out from beneath it, brandishing a club and demanding my gold.
Blake- I'm glad Blake decided on "Imagine" by John Lennon. Singing a song originally recorded by an Englishman helps justify Blake's random British accent. All kidding and side of mouth singing aside, I thought Blake did a good job with this song. You have to give the guy credit, he is one of those rare Idol contestants with his own unique style. His originality and star quality will make him the most successful Idol from this year's batch (Although I don't think he'll win).
Lakisha- I will talk more about this in a minute, but I don't think Lakisha has done anything to improve her chances since her first song of the final 24. Every week she does nothing more than waddle around the stage showing us her stink face (or 'stank' face) as she hollers out a song. The fact is, if you sing a song that makes everyone long for the original version, and the original artist was the worst American Idol champion ever, you've got a slight problem. Sorry Lakisha.
Phil- What is with this guy? Since www.votefortheworst.com selected him as the heir to the Sanjaya throne, I've been rooting for him. The problem is, even though every week the guy is compared to a vampire, he continues to come out all lurky and dressed in black. And how does he manage to make every song sound creepy? They could make "The Ring: Part III" and just have Phil sneak around an old theater singing "Ring Around the Rosie." To me, that would be just as scary as some drowned little girl.
Having said that, I'm rooting for Phil, and the guy can sing. If only he would put some life into it and stop acting like he's singing the names of the Va Tech shooting victims.
Jordin- The complete opposite of Lakisha, Jordin (who is only 17, as Randy continues to remind the pedophiles) has improved every week. Not just her voice and song choice, but the girl has lost about 60 pounds. She has gone from being an early third round pick to play linebacker for the Raiders, to becoming a stone-cold fox (Well, not exactly, but you get the idea). She obviously wants to win this competition. I've never seen the audience give someone a standing ovation starting midway through the song and continuing long after. My wife told me she had goose bumps on her face by the end of Jordin's version of "You'll Never Walk Alone."
After this week’s performances, I have to say I think Jordin will be the next American Idol, beating Blake in the finale
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